emerging

I am in chrysalis,
emerging gracefully
by the power of my Guru's
gentle prodding.
Delicate and damp,
my wings spread wide
to engulf the Universe.
And mounted by my savior
I flutter into infinity
to unabashedly french kiss
the mouth of Divinity.

ash

I will worship you
if Shiva will not take offense
(he seems the jealous type,)
and like Hanuman with Ram in his heart,
in a clamor of gold tear open my chest
to reveal your face, your grace,
and the mantra of your name
that pumps in my veins.
I will kneel at your feet
to feel your hand on my head,
then roll into savasana,
revealing the soft sweet
underbelly of my soul.
I will weep like Parvati
crazed for her king,
for to me, you are he,
the wild God of passion
with a lingam of lightening
forbidden to touch.
And like Shaivite sadhus
dissolved in devotion,
I'll burn in the fire,
adorn my temple
with the ash of desire,
and worship as I
see fit.

madness

This insidious madness set on
the day I decided to return,
adopting the convenient delusion
that this time would somehow
be different.

rsvp

When the storm descends
Within his eyes,
I see a darkness inside
Twisting and turning,
Desiring and trying
To be released,
A viable entity
Knocking at the door,
Whispering “more,”
Desperate to live,
Yearning to give
Him exactly what
He needs.
And my craving
To cultivate
It’s flowering form
Into a creation so vast
I can leap into its grasp,
Turns to torture so sweet
I long to weep,
But I resolve instead
To kneel and wait
In silence that aches,
Watching still
As darkness descends,
His fingers linger
Shaking in shame,
Signing his name
"Yes my love,
I'll come to thee..."
A long awaited R.S.V.P
To the long desired
Invitation to sin,
The long denied
Invitation to me.

symbiotic

You say my dancing feeds you,
as your powdered palm pats,
and fingertips tap,
the skin of the drum.
And I watch half crazed
as you command passion
with percussive perfection
that wets my lips
and drives my hips
to destinations once unknown.
And you watch half dazed
as I twirl to your tabla,
drunk on sound,
inhibitions unwound,
shaken and awakened
to a realization profound,
until I approach knowing
you too can see
how deliciously dangerous
this symbiotic relationship
has the potential
to be.

Nataraj

Shiva is a brilliant lover.

Knowing exactly what I'd need,
he came to me as Nataraj.

All those hands did as they pleased.

And leaning over me
his eyes glimmered with delight,
as I panted in his ear,

and exploded into the vastness
of his arms.

dog paddling

Your beauty swallows me whole
and I stand in a puddle of passion
muddling my way through words
that simply won't suffice.

I am dog paddling
when I'd rather just drown.

Time stills, cells expand
in a primal pull
I can't control,
my body belongs
against yours.

But I just stand
stunned and dumb
watching
as desire commands
the air around us.

Until discretion takes hold,
arms fold,
sunglasses slip over eyes,
trying to hide,
we murmur goodbye.

And I am left
alone and wet,
dog paddling in the wake
you left behind...
again.

Waver

Your eyes on my skin
draw me in
to a dream colored blue,
cool and calm
muted soft hues,
where hazy and lazy
we cherish the day,
sip cabaret,
tangled together,
lost in the sky,
thigh upon thigh,
scented and soaked
in liquid hot lust
I'll bottle to savor
in moments like these
when the dream
starts to waver.

Acceptance

I am
unexplored
territory,
landscaped
in silent
discontent,
and eroded
by the waters
of so-called
acceptance.

Peeling

Without him
I am dull and dry
peeling at the edges
ill equipped
to pull back dead layers
and reveal the soft
sultry substance
inside.

Melody

You are the notes
that resonate within,
and you are the space
between each breath,
and in blessed calm
you compose the song
that is the melody
of my life.

The Trail

I sit on a
mountain side
trying to hide
from the skin
whipping wind,
as regrets begin,
fears appear,
tall pines howl
and the sky
seems to scowl
with sleet
unexpected,
and utterly
rejected
I slip away,
slap stinging still,
down the hill
and back to the trail
I know.

Entranced

In burgundy silk sari,
soft on swaying hips,
I slip into the dusk,
cool and whispering
of springs return.
And my skin seems to sing
of rose petals and ecstasy
as I dream of you next to me.
And draped in deceptive night
as misleading as your sight,
I am tripped up and tricked
into believing in my visions,
the lure of your deep light,
and the beautifully preposterous idea
that "you and I" are right.

Immodest

Thinking of you again
my secret little sigh,
precaution set aside
indiscreet, irrational
(and probably unwise)
I scheme and dream
and plot my play,
remembering the day
someone urged me
“just be bold”
surprised to find
I’m actually sold
on such an idea,
can this be me?
that shy little girl
you’ve always known
suddenly grown
into immodest woman
who after seven years
restrained by fears
will cease to hide
desire confide
and ask
for what
she wants.

Anger

This anger
is almost
as red hot
as the desire
is not.