madness

This insidious madness set on
the day I decided to return,
adopting the convenient delusion
that this time would somehow
be different.

rsvp

When the storm descends
Within his eyes,
I see a darkness inside
Twisting and turning,
Desiring and trying
To be released,
A viable entity
Knocking at the door,
Whispering “more,”
Desperate to live,
Yearning to give
Him exactly what
He needs.
And my craving
To cultivate
It’s flowering form
Into a creation so vast
I can leap into its grasp,
Turns to torture so sweet
I long to weep,
But I resolve instead
To kneel and wait
In silence that aches,
Watching still
As darkness descends,
His fingers linger
Shaking in shame,
Signing his name
"Yes my love,
I'll come to thee..."
A long awaited R.S.V.P
To the long desired
Invitation to sin,
The long denied
Invitation to me.

symbiotic

You say my dancing feeds you,
as your powdered palm pats,
and fingertips tap,
the skin of the drum.
And I watch half crazed
as you command passion
with percussive perfection
that wets my lips
and drives my hips
to destinations once unknown.
And you watch half dazed
as I twirl to your tabla,
drunk on sound,
inhibitions unwound,
shaken and awakened
to a realization profound,
until I approach knowing
you too can see
how deliciously dangerous
this symbiotic relationship
has the potential
to be.

Nataraj

Shiva is a brilliant lover.

Knowing exactly what I'd need,
he came to me as Nataraj.

All those hands did as they pleased.

And leaning over me
his eyes glimmered with delight,
as I panted in his ear,

and exploded into the vastness
of his arms.

dog paddling

Your beauty swallows me whole
and I stand in a puddle of passion
muddling my way through words
that simply won't suffice.

I am dog paddling
when I'd rather just drown.

Time stills, cells expand
in a primal pull
I can't control,
my body belongs
against yours.

But I just stand
stunned and dumb
watching
as desire commands
the air around us.

Until discretion takes hold,
arms fold,
sunglasses slip over eyes,
trying to hide,
we murmur goodbye.

And I am left
alone and wet,
dog paddling in the wake
you left behind...
again.

Waver

Your eyes on my skin
draw me in
to a dream colored blue,
cool and calm
muted soft hues,
where hazy and lazy
we cherish the day,
sip cabaret,
tangled together,
lost in the sky,
thigh upon thigh,
scented and soaked
in liquid hot lust
I'll bottle to savor
in moments like these
when the dream
starts to waver.

Acceptance

I am
unexplored
territory,
landscaped
in silent
discontent,
and eroded
by the waters
of so-called
acceptance.

Peeling

Without him
I am dull and dry
peeling at the edges
ill equipped
to pull back dead layers
and reveal the soft
sultry substance
inside.

Melody

You are the notes
that resonate within,
and you are the space
between each breath,
and in blessed calm
you compose the song
that is the melody
of my life.

The Trail

I sit on a
mountain side
trying to hide
from the skin
whipping wind,
as regrets begin,
fears appear,
tall pines howl
and the sky
seems to scowl
with sleet
unexpected,
and utterly
rejected
I slip away,
slap stinging still,
down the hill
and back to the trail
I know.

Entranced

In burgundy silk sari,
soft on swaying hips,
I slip into the dusk,
cool and whispering
of springs return.
And my skin seems to sing
of rose petals and ecstasy
as I dream of you next to me.
And draped in deceptive night
as misleading as your sight,
I am tripped up and tricked
into believing in my visions,
the lure of your deep light,
and the beautifully preposterous idea
that "you and I" are right.

Immodest

Thinking of you again
my secret little sigh,
precaution set aside
indiscreet, irrational
(and probably unwise)
I scheme and dream
and plot my play,
remembering the day
someone urged me
“just be bold”
surprised to find
I’m actually sold
on such an idea,
can this be me?
that shy little girl
you’ve always known
suddenly grown
into immodest woman
who after seven years
restrained by fears
will cease to hide
desire confide
and ask
for what
she wants.

Anger

This anger
is almost
as red hot
as the desire
is not.

Seductress

You tilt your head just a tad
as I twirl a curl of hair
around my finger.
And in response to the way I lick
my lips, then touch and tug
just a bit,
you moan aloud,
shift your seat,
and lay a sigh
at my feet.
And I smile
surprised to find
reflected in gray eyes
a seductress
smiling
back.

Response Ability

The cursed gift
of response-ability
pounds its fist
into my heart
as discrepancies
do their part
to strip me down
until I drift numb
and dumb
in a pale gown
of powerlessness
perceived
grieving again
in the empty night
at the haunting sight
of geese against gray
flying for you
and I scream
unheard
misunderstood
in a fist fight
with fate
always too late
I weigh this choice
beseeching the voice
of courage
to respond.

A Man

I live with a man
who sings ragas and
chants hare krishna,
with lotus blossom fingers
that dance across guitar strings
and glide across my skin,
as he leans in
to worship this body
and soul.

I live with a man
who wears glasses when he reads,
whose hair is too long
and wisps in the breeze
while he sits in a meadow
analyzing his dreams.
He understands the placement of planets
in his chart and mine
and how they combine
to give birth to the greatest love
the world’s ever seen.

I live with a man
who doesn’t own a t.v.,
and greets each day alongside me,
one with the earth,
giving birth to serenity.
And I stand, stunned into silence
at the depth of his divinity.
And when I reach out
he reaches back,
further and deeper
into me
than anyone
ever has before.

Bird in Hand

you ruffle the feathers
of this caged bird
stroking her just so
as to make her sing
in a voice so brilliant
it shocks
even
her
self.

and broken winged
she nuzzles into your palm
grateful for the warmth
thankful for the rescue
but secretly poised
to pierce your skin
should your grip
begin
to
tighten.