Finding Athena

Falling Apart

2011-09-28T19:47:00.000-06:00

Hunger

2011-09-28T16:45:00.005-06:00

Words enter through wet eyes

through the dark tunnels of Plutonian night

scavenging the remains of light.

There is nothing left.

I don't know if I can write poetry again. The creativity feels dead and cold inside me. But there is something happening - a knocking, a scratching, from the inside out. There is a hunger for something nameless. There is an aching for something to be revived. I will use this blog to feed that hunger... little bites at first. Anything that will feed it. Anything that might open the window to my soul once again. I don't promise poetry... just whatever wants to emerge after a long, dark night.

forget it

2011-04-08T07:52:00.003-06:00

Well I think if I have proved anything to myself it is that I cannot write a poem every day - especially when I challenge myself to do so. I just got my first erotic short story published and am working on quite a few other things in that realm. Good enough.

blinded

2011-04-04T16:39:00.004-06:00

One step at a time.
A good approach
until tears blind us
to the stairs.
Crawling it is.

verboten

2011-04-04T08:38:00.005-06:00

Piano arpeggios,
the smell of the stage,
red velvet curtains,
the turn of a page,
faceless bodies
a hushed crowd,
careful words
sung aloud,
a spotlight blinding
your tortured stare,
yet somehow still
you found my chair,
and whispered Brahms
like a verboten
prayer.

Found

2011-04-03T10:51:00.005-06:00

I trespass where he hides,
where spring fog hangs heavy
and the sound of the lapping sea
weaves melodies that never could,
never should be,
suffocating the harmony,
quickly disarming me,
I am found.
He steals my weapons
and flees.

April Poem-A-Day Challenge

2011-03-31T20:49:00.001-06:00

Well tomorrow is the start of National Poetry Month and the poem-a-day challenge. I'm in. You?

neither do I

2011-03-19T14:11:00.000-06:00

neither do i by AthenaMarie on Polyvore.com

misery

2011-02-03T10:51:00.001-07:00

Ah dear misery,
ti amo,
friend to
the artist,
and author
alone.

snowflakes

2011-02-03T09:39:00.003-07:00

Warm breasts pressed
against frigid glass,
as ice laced lips trip
over words frozen
in my mind,
I shiver in the wind
that howls between
our hands,
"if you dare to touch me now
you'll catch an early death,"
brittle words within my breath
freeze without a sound,
and tremble softly to my feet
like snowflakes to the ground.

sneeze, please

2011-02-01T10:32:00.002-07:00

My head is full of words
stacked in neat, orderly, piles,
collecting dust, and waiting
for someone to sneeze.

Peace Potion

2011-01-01T15:19:00.005-07:00

Waiting alone
in teardrops and tulle,
playing the fool
in a drama of dreams,
nothing is as final
as it may seem,
shadows loomed
and fears were assumed,
until a sprinkle of peace
in the form of his sigh
arrived to save her
from an unwanted goodbye.

decay

2010-11-05T10:33:00.007-06:00

I am nothing but a shell.

A figment in my lovers

long abandoned dream.

An actress in an endless scene.

A flower dying, tired of trying

to blossom and bloom

in a dark, tiny box

cut off from the light,

without any room,

night after night,

day after day

I wither away

in a perpetual,

desolate,

cold winter

decay.

prostrate

2010-10-28T14:26:00.005-06:00

I shine as bright as that

little white envelope

lighting up beside your name

and draped in transparency

I offer what's left of me

prostrate on a platter

of impious and purposeless

prayer.

silver merchant

2010-08-22T19:39:00.000-06:00

When he speaks
I hear
a silver merchant
pushing his cart to market.
The tinkling, jingling,
of goods on display
that stirs and awakens
a sleeping town.
And the merchant smiles,
crooked, sincere,
at the promise of
a bountiful day.

manipura

2010-08-03T16:42:00.002-06:00

Kali-Ma twirls in my root tonight,
leaping, laughing, screaming, loving.
Alive.
Freedom, wild and divine,
running through woods.
One.
My sacral explodes in light,
ignites Manipura,
expanding in spheres,
spinning loose fears,
and I am,
I am,
I am
free.

silly goose

2010-07-20T21:10:00.005-06:00

I'm a silly little goose
sitting in the muddy pool
of your eyes.
Humming heedlessly
while we're apart,
feathers stained
as black as your heart,
blind as I always was.

a single week

2010-07-20T18:42:00.002-06:00

Jazz seeps into the smokey
secret corners of my mind
sharpening lingering pain,
while summer rain falls in sheets,
and your silence kills the heat
where futile hope was born - and died,
in the space of a single week.

submissive

2010-07-16T16:02:00.002-06:00

For loving such lips
I yearn to kiss
you punish me brutally
with absence and silence
a greater violence
than any torture
I could conceive
and I wonder my dear
if you're even aware
that in making me wait
you increase this ache
and by refusing to feed
this desperate need
you only succeed
in making me love you
more.

the waltz

2010-07-03T20:27:00.004-06:00

We've been dancing
a waltz along this wire,
lovely and lonely,
in silent desire,
careful and cautious,
glancing away
as subtleties play
upon our tongues,
while we try to decipher
the riddles we weave
so others won't see
touch transparent
and passion inherent
as this waltz we dance
transforms into tango,
impassioned and bold,
consuming us whole,
corroding control,
and losing our place
together we brace
for the fall from the wire
into the fire
of forbidden desire
divulged.

who's first

2010-06-24T20:20:00.003-06:00

Nothing can compare
to the way you strip me bare.
I am transparent,
tortured and torn,
for through your words
I was reborn,
and now I wait and watch,
while you do the same,
playing this game,
wondering who
between us two,
will be the first to fall,
the first to call,
the first to reach
to crawl, beseech.
I suppose it’s not
much of a mystery
considering torrid history
providing obvious indication,
(overlooking my vacillation)
that the first to reach,
to crawl, beseech,
will probably
be me.

in vain

2010-06-20T20:33:00.002-06:00

You think you’re so smart
swallowing every little part
of me
until there’s nothing
left of mesh
over alter-ego
black and harsh
where logic
and fantasy part
and you remain
stoic and staunch
while I scream and claw
a vain attempt to draw
you out …
while helpless I watch
as indifferent you walk
away.

Inspired by this song:

a kitty's pride

2010-06-16T18:45:00.006-06:00

Bella steps on careful kitty paws,
traversing the top
of the bedroom armoire -
the highest point in the house
(and therefore the best,)
prideful of her position,
content in accomplished mission...
until she slips and falls
onto the sleeping lump
of the dog below
who yelps and jumps
and in response
she chirps a meow
(an apology perhaps?)
curls up on the bed
and closes her eyes.
The bed's more comfortable
than the armoire
anyway.

lawyer

2010-05-11T17:59:00.004-06:00

A lawyer sits
in a suit and tie,
dark brown hair
darker eyes,
collecting my words
silently - still,
biding his time
to move in for the kill.
Again.

triple cancer

2010-04-29T18:39:00.006-06:00

Like a child I cry
for a toy out of reach,
and seek entertainment
by my own terms.
But silent he stands,
staunch and firm,
encased in a shell,
with barely a squirm
as I poke and prod
in an attempt to disarm
the man who's immune to
all of my charms...
Or perhaps he's simply
onto this ploy
and isn't content
to be a mere
toy.

by the door

2010-02-20T23:35:00.002-07:00

Sleep is a lover unseen
And you say it seems
You’ve forgotten our talks
Over cards and beer
You can’t seem to hear
A straightforward message
Screamed in your ear
So in response
You sleep on the floor
And curse your dreams
While awake I weep
And stand by the door.

the sleeping me

2009-11-27T10:10:00.005-07:00

The little me
sleeps and schemes
projecting illusive
dreams,
dancing with maya
and avoiding the fire
that could wipe it's karma
clean.
And the soul sits
in prayerful pose
waiting to be
seen,
smiling gently
at sleeping me
seduced by how
it seems.

grave robber

2009-11-26T12:02:00.007-07:00

He stands in the shadows,
black suit and tie
prying open
our dark moldy coffin
Why? I cry,
helpless to stop him,
as each rusty nail
falls to the ground
without a sound
wood splinters and
I can only observe
heartbeat unsteady
this grave robber
back for more
whose stolen too much
already.

(P.S. - Rusty nails are dangerous. I hope you get tetanus.)

creation

2009-08-25T19:16:00.000-06:00

How infinite the mind of the One,
laden with latent possibility
dormant in the microcosm of
the "me" struggling stupidly
to comprehend
the simple complexity
of the continuum of
constant and cohesive
creation.

strings

2009-08-03T19:10:00.003-06:00

He pulls my strings
and I dance and sing
a melody born of dreams
and it matters not
if what he says is true
for the way he pulls
upon these cords
very few can do.

tied

2009-08-03T18:54:00.003-06:00

I watch the wind
whip passion through the trees,
and whispering to my heart
I promise to better tend
to the garden blooming within,
to daily inspect the strength of string
that’s tied from it,
to you.

stained

2009-07-31T12:07:00.002-06:00

I scrub my skin
as raw as my heart
that's stained the sleeves
of every perfectly picked
outfit I laid out
for him.

paid heed

2009-07-04T00:30:00.006-06:00

I find letters littered
on the dusty floor
of the past,
words I never noticed,
till now.
And suddenly,
ashamed and sorry,
I think perhaps
I wish I'd paid heed
to the light in the eyes
of those who'd agree...
who long ago
wished I'd paid heed
to the light in their eyes
as well.

next to nothing

2009-07-02T19:03:00.005-06:00

I am tangled in the touch
of his written words
that tear me into beautiful
deep dripping puddles
of passion that leak
through my roof
and soak my bed
in his scent
and it lingers
on my fingers
that sign his name
in silence
and it means
next to nothing
to him.

caught

2009-06-30T16:56:00.003-06:00

My days dissolve into words,
his words and mine,
ensnared and entwined
like a wild creature
caught.
And I am reminded of
feral cats that fear for their life
until you simply
cover their eyes.

pulpit

2009-06-03T21:46:00.005-06:00

You sock me
upside the head
with your seduction.
And I wonder
where your plans
may lead.
Perhaps to the pulpit
where you've stripped me
once before.
Bare.
And bronzed.
My body waits
for whatever
you have
in store.

after the rain

2009-05-24T09:01:00.005-06:00

I stand in the pose of the tree.
And breathe.
While sunlight warms my skin,
and drop dappled firs
reach to the heavens
to rejoice in quiet voice.
And I can't help but think
that perhaps
they are as awed as I
by the forest after a rain.

soaked

2009-05-18T18:39:00.003-06:00

Your tongue tastes of cream soda
and strawberries,
soaked in sugar
and dripping with
desire.
Kinda like me.

flick

2009-05-10T11:10:00.002-06:00

You are gone.
Shriveled into a dark
dusty memory,
a long forgotten mistake,
that I toss aside
with the flick
of a wrist...
And suddenly,
I can stand up
straight.

arabian nights

2009-05-10T10:42:00.000-06:00

Let me be your Scheherazade
your breath, your blood, your life,
weaving tales of desire
through the jasmine scented night.
I will worship you alone
dark sultan of my dreams,
if you whisper, your voice like velvet,
of pleasures yet unknown.
I shall surrender willingly
as your hands possess,
strong and firm upon my skin
yet soft as silks caress.
I will kneel before you,
grant your every wish,
I will give you everything
if you allow me this.
Let me be your Scheherazade,
lie back on velvet pillows
and I will dance the seven veils
in silken swirling billows.
Let me be your lotus,
sweet, tender and pale,
a dewey petaled flower
that opens delicately
at dusks darkening hour.
Let me be your Scheherazade
a gift like desert rain
to trace in grace your dark skin
with locks of raven mane.
I will deliver un-ending delights
throughout the sultry night,
the nectar of mango upon your lips
combined with hungry kiss.
In the corner, over charcoal
amber resin glows
an ancient scent as dark and deep
as the Niles water flows.
I will be your mystery
like the sacred shadowed halls
where history reveals itself
and the pyramids secrets live.
Let me be your Scheherazade
for I have much to tell you...
and even more to give.

emerging

2009-02-02T14:43:00.002-07:00

I am in chrysalis,
emerging gracefully
by the power of my Guru's
gentle prodding.
Delicate and damp,
my wings spread wide
to engulf the Universe.
And mounted by my savior
I flutter into infinity
to unabashedly french kiss
the mouth of Divinity.

ash

2009-02-02T11:46:00.005-07:00

I will worship you
if Shiva will not take offense
(he seems the jealous type,)
and like Hanuman with Ram in his heart,
in a clamor of gold tear open my chest
to reveal your face, your grace,
and the mantra of your name
that pumps in my veins.
I will kneel at your feet
to feel your hand on my head,
then roll into savasana,
revealing the soft sweet
underbelly of my soul.
I will weep like Parvati
crazed for her king,
for to me, you are he,
the wild God of passion
with a lingam of lightening
forbidden to touch.
And like Shaivite sadhus
dissolved in devotion,
I'll burn in the fire,
adorn my temple
with the ash of desire,
and worship as I
see fit.

madness

2008-12-08T11:58:00.004-07:00

This insidious madness set on
the day I decided to return,
adopting the convenient delusion
that this time would somehow
be different.

rsvp

2008-10-13T14:39:00.000-06:00

When the storm descends
Within his eyes,
I see a darkness inside
Twisting and turning,
Desiring and trying
To be released,
A viable entity
Knocking at the door,
Whispering “more,”
Desperate to live,
Yearning to give
Him exactly what
He needs.
And my craving
To cultivate
It’s flowering form
Into a creation so vast
I can leap into its grasp,
Turns to torture so sweet
I long to weep,
But I resolve instead
To kneel and wait
In silence that aches,
Watching still
As darkness descends,
His fingers linger
Shaking in shame,
Signing his name
"Yes my love,
I'll come to thee..."
A long awaited R.S.V.P
To the long desired
Invitation to sin,
The long denied
Invitation to me.

symbiotic

2008-10-04T11:32:00.005-06:00

You say my dancing feeds you,
as your powdered palm pats,
and fingertips tap,
the skin of the drum.
And I watch half crazed
as you command passion
with percussive perfection
that wets my lips
and drives my hips
to destinations once unknown.
And you watch half dazed
as I twirl to your tabla,
drunk on sound,
inhibitions unwound,
shaken and awakened
to a realization profound,
until I approach knowing
you too can see
how deliciously dangerous
this symbiotic relationship
has the potential
to be.

Nataraj

2008-09-06T16:36:00.004-06:00

Shiva is a brilliant lover.

Knowing exactly what I'd need,
he came to me as Nataraj.

All those hands did as they pleased.

And leaning over me
his eyes glimmered with delight,
as I panted in his ear,

and exploded into the vastness
of his arms.

dog paddling

2008-08-25T15:08:00.007-06:00

Your beauty swallows me whole
and I stand in a puddle of passion
muddling my way through words
that simply won't suffice.

I am dog paddling
when I'd rather just drown.

Time stills, cells expand
in a primal pull
I can't control,
my body belongs
against yours.

But I just stand
stunned and dumb
watching
as desire commands
the air around us.

Until discretion takes hold,
arms fold,
sunglasses slip over eyes,
trying to hide,
we murmur goodbye.

And I am left
alone and wet,
dog paddling in the wake
you left behind...
again.

Waver

2008-07-07T21:58:00.003-06:00

Your eyes on my skin
draw me in
to a dream colored blue,
cool and calm
muted soft hues,
where hazy and lazy
we cherish the day,
sip cabaret,
tangled together,
lost in the sky,
thigh upon thigh,
scented and soaked
in liquid hot lust
I'll bottle to savor
in moments like these
when the dream
starts to waver.

Acceptance

2008-06-29T18:33:00.002-06:00

I am
unexplored
territory,
landscaped
in silent
discontent,
and eroded
by the waters
of so-called
acceptance.

Peeling

2008-04-27T10:53:00.004-06:00

Without him
I am dull and dry
peeling at the edges
ill equipped
to pull back dead layers
and reveal the soft
sultry substance
inside.

Melody

2008-03-30T15:50:00.007-06:00

You are the notes
that resonate within,
and you are the space
between each breath,
and in blessed calm
you compose the song
that is the melody
of my life.

The Trail

2008-03-21T16:23:00.006-06:00

I sit on a
mountain side
trying to hide
from the skin
whipping wind,
as regrets begin,
fears appear,
tall pines howl
and the sky
seems to scowl
with sleet
unexpected,
and utterly
rejected
I slip away,
slap stinging still,
down the hill
and back to the trail
I know.

Entranced

2008-03-15T17:10:00.004-06:00

In burgundy silk sari,
soft on swaying hips,
I slip into the dusk,
cool and whispering
of springs return.
And my skin seems to sing
of rose petals and ecstasy
as I dream of you next to me.
And draped in deceptive night
as misleading as your sight,
I am tripped up and tricked
into believing in my visions,
the lure of your deep light,
and the beautifully preposterous idea
that "you and I" are right.

Immodest

2008-03-07T12:48:00.007-07:00

Thinking of you again
my secret little sigh,
precaution set aside
indiscreet, irrational
(and probably unwise)
I scheme and dream
and plot my play,
remembering the day
someone urged me
“just be bold”
surprised to find
I’m actually sold
on such an idea,
can this be me?
that shy little girl
you’ve always known
suddenly grown
into immodest woman
who after seven years
restrained by fears
will cease to hide
desire confide
and ask
for what
she wants.

Anger

2008-02-01T18:36:00.001-07:00

This anger
is almost
as red hot
as the desire
is not.

Seductress

2008-01-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

You tilt your head just a tad
as I twirl a curl of hair
around my finger.
And in response to the way I lick
my lips, then touch and tug
just a bit,
you moan aloud,
shift your seat,
and lay a sigh
at my feet.
And I smile
surprised to find
reflected in gray eyes
a seductress
smiling
back.

Response Ability

2008-01-21T19:36:00.001-07:00

The cursed gift
of response-ability
pounds its fist
into my heart
as discrepancies
do their part
to strip me down
until I drift numb
and dumb
in a pale gown
of powerlessness
perceived
grieving again
in the empty night
at the haunting sight
of geese against gray
flying for you
and I scream
unheard
misunderstood
in a fist fight
with fate
always too late
I weigh this choice
beseeching the voice
of courage
to respond.

A Man

2008-01-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

I live with a man
who sings ragas and
chants hare krishna,
with lotus blossom fingers
that dance across guitar strings
and glide across my skin,
as he leans in
to worship this body
and soul.

I live with a man
who wears glasses when he reads,
whose hair is too long
and wisps in the breeze
while he sits in a meadow
analyzing his dreams.
He understands the placement of planets
in his chart and mine
and how they combine
to give birth to the greatest love
the world’s ever seen.

I live with a man
who doesn’t own a t.v.,
and greets each day alongside me,
one with the earth,
giving birth to serenity.
And I stand, stunned into silence
at the depth of his divinity.
And when I reach out
he reaches back,
further and deeper
into me
than anyone
ever has before.

Bird in Hand

2008-01-04T19:07:00.001-07:00

you ruffle the feathers
of this caged bird
stroking her just so
as to make her sing
in a voice so brilliant
it shocks
even
her
self.

and broken winged
she nuzzles into your palm
grateful for the warmth
thankful for the rescue
but secretly poised
to pierce your skin
should your grip
begin
to
tighten.

Temptation

2007-12-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Slipping through the sanctuary,
skirts swish, unnoticed she eyes
saints too engrossed with pious prayers
to see carnal cravings coloring the brow
of recent recruit of seminary school,
a simple fool with Irish brogue in royal robe,
preaches and beseeches an apathetic heaven to hear,
for the people to fear for little do they know
temptation is near.
And as he stutters stumbles and stares,
she smiles,
esoteric, erotic, aware.
Now sitting silent in vacant nave-
just her, God and him,
“Forgive me father, for I have sinned,”
and on bloodied knees she pretends to plead
“Bless me, undress me,
grant me sight this holy night.”
As candles flicker and moonlight glows
sharp gray rays on ancient stone
“Come my child, thou art not alone,”
He takes her hand, and leads her
towards the promised land,
while eyes of saints look away,
too preoccupied to see
sacred sanctuary of iniquity
crumble and corrode,
as those who sought to control
relinquish power
this blessed hour
when Woman stole
it back.

Dark Doll

2007-12-17T19:00:00.000-07:00

She sits, my shadow,
porcelain and lace,
fragile figment
of one too many dreams
and two too many drinks.

She sings, the darkness,
and silent screams
echo only in the hollow
of my heart.

She weeps, dark doll eyes
drip drops of loss.

And you, too tall,
hold her, so small
in your hands.

Whisper of wings.

Pull her strings.

It's ok.
I'll let you.

Someone has to.

Blue

2007-12-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

On a whispering winter day
I sought to unlock the blue.
"My mistake" I thought distraught,
watching unfocused through frost,
lost, as four short, crisp, cool quips
spat in shards from the unconscious of you
shattered the sodalite that sat on my skin,
suddenly thin, like ozone above,
and shocked I watched as the solstice sun
appeared to dim.
Then and there corpse-cold lips
began to drip with a
slippery sweet stinging hue,
a cold and biting, bitter ice blue,
not quite the shade I'd had in mind...
nor expected to find
with the key bestowed by you.

Ecstasy

2007-12-04T18:44:00.001-07:00

I sense Shakti in my womb.
Dancing, swirling, twirling,
whispering “awaken.”
As a dormant force
once feared, now free,
slithers up my spine
and slips out my eyes.
Sleeping Shiva stirs,
free from silent tomb,
and soon,
seduced to my side,
our breath shall entwine
while serpents glide
and we ride
into the vast ocean
of ecstasy.

ice blue

2007-12-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

Today the sky
matched your eyes.
And walking a delicate line
between now and then
in this space of
anger cleansed,
soul on the mend,
memories take hold,
breaking me slowly
into beautiful shards
that shine like ice blue
winter skies
that light and ignite
the bitter and bright,
and the wrong and right
memory of your love.

Imprisoned

2007-03-16T18:42:00.000-06:00

I am
the Lady of Shallott
watching in the glass
as Lancelot passes by
in various disguise
(as him, and him, and her)
always seeking,
but never reaching
beyond these prison walls
wandering empty halls
vainly praying
for something or someone
to save me
from myself.

Ghost II

2007-03-11T16:29:00.000-06:00

When the soft hand of spring
Caresses the fragrant earth
With delicate drops of west coast rain
That drip from the tips of my lashes
I will come to you in the night
Draped in gossamer white
For I am nothing
But a ghost who haunts these docks
Translucent skin and raven locks
With fingers that ache to reach
Through soft gray fog
And time and space
Into the place
Where I lost my life
Burned at the stake
By the crimson fire
Of the tortured desire
Flaming in your eyes.

Fledgling

2007-03-11T16:09:00.000-06:00

The indigo sky
assembled too quickly
before the back drop
of yesterdays dream
drapes the wings
that barely shelter
this badly bruised
fledgling we conceived.

Stalker

2007-01-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

I cradle the photograph
I probably shouldn’t have
And certainly shouldn’t cherish
Transfixed and transfigured
A stalker at the alter
Of him.

Untitled

2006-12-08T14:44:00.000-07:00

I rise to meet you
Like the oceans swell
Aching to kiss
The moon.

Done

2006-11-26T14:06:00.000-07:00

I suck down my pride
Like a whore sucks cock,
Swallow hard,
And rinse your taste
Away
With a smooth shot
Of grace
I bless and curse
This game we’ve played,
And done,
I collect my pay,
And wave the
White flag
Of defeat.

Nothing new

2006-11-16T21:17:00.000-07:00

I cradle the weight
Of karmic law
Alone.
Oh... she senses,
But she cannot see.
The tale of siblings
Too intertwined
To be stripped apart by sin,
A punishment that she still lives,
That she still breathes.
And now,
Her anger and her fears
Pierce parchment,
Crisp and corroded,
With fire, forbidden desire,
And the memory of
Cotton gowns
Worn and blue,
While we held each other
Scraping enamel from
A crumbling pew.
In Akashic temples
I find our records,
Rested and restored,
I read quickly,
Significantly moved,
While she stumbles
Over a language
Unknown by most,
And spoken by few,
While I weep once again,
For knowing
This is nothing
New.

November

2006-10-18T17:23:00.000-06:00

Memories and fantasies
Combine, collide,
And intertwine,
Until I am tangled
In teardrops
Unnamed
While untamed lions
Scratch at the threshold
Of November
Before October’s
Even had a chance
To fade.

Day 2

2006-10-05T21:08:00.000-06:00

As each layer peels away
And every sunrise on each new day
Illuminates me
I weep with wonder
At the clarity of all I see
Awakened
Aware
And overcome
As angels lean in over me with
White winged whispers in my ear
Dripping through my soul
Saturated, shaking, singing
And soaring out of control
Too overwhelmed to know
That this is only
The beginning.

Remember

2006-09-28T20:11:00.000-06:00

There are no words
To capture the design
Of Infinite mind.
I cannot see the image,
I can only feel
The Truth of my essence,
Affirm the presence,
And know deep in my soul
That the past
Is no indication
Of what is possible,
And what is not.

Someday

2006-09-13T16:38:00.000-06:00

This barren wasteland
Will not shrivel into decay
For someday
The rains will come.
And someday
So will he.

A Scorpio thing

2006-09-13T16:22:00.000-06:00

Yesterday
Unquenchable,
This thirst for desire,
For a fallen angel's fire
To swell the rivers
And heat the waters
In which I secretly dwell.
And today...
Insatiable,
This hunger for sanctity,
Kneeling in abstinence,
Dry from the fire,
And seeking a transcendence
Higher than desire.

Fingers

2006-09-13T15:23:00.000-06:00

He is Autumn air,
Crisp and clear,
With sharpened,
Slick corners
I both desire
And fear.
And he hides
In my head,
Crouched,
Fading green,
With a Coors
In one hand,
And an expression
Serene.
I tremble
At the sight
Of his eyes
In twilight,
As Aspen musk
Lingers,
And Scorpio fingers
Interlace
With Fall’s kiss,
Again.

Cotton Blue

2006-08-22T16:55:00.000-06:00

Tonight I will sleep,
Ensconced in
Cotton blue,
Sound and sober,
And dreaming
Of you.

The Sky and I

2006-08-14T18:46:00.000-06:00

The thunder cracks
And I think perhaps
The sky knows
What I feel.

Drink

2006-07-24T16:19:00.000-06:00

She is a maze
In a blue bruised haze
Tough skin
Fragile veins
Bleeding confusion
That I will drink
Like a glass of red wine
A bottle at a time
My claim to fame
Assimilating quickly
Liquid pain…
While concurrently causing
More of the same.

Soon

2006-07-24T12:53:00.000-06:00

I yearn for Fall
For the heat to cool
And a night
When the moon
Cooperates.

Buried

2006-07-03T13:34:00.000-06:00

Delicately I place
My submissive self
Upon a secret shelf.
Softly I lull her
Into dreamless sleep,
While bleakly I brush
The dust of desire
From my breast,
Extinguish the fire,
And store the rest
Of disregarded desires
In a redwood chest
To be buried at sea,
Minus lone key,
The only sliver
Of silent truth
Gilded and gleaming
Inside of me.

Wet Dream

2006-07-02T11:22:00.000-06:00

I grip
The muscles
On his back,
Run red-tipped
Fingernails
Down the slant
Of his jaw line,
Lying
Beneath him
In a dew dripped
Dress, ripped
By writhing, and driving,
And seeding screams
In the soft raw
Soil of
Aftershave scented
Dreams.

Trilogy

2006-06-27T12:41:00.000-06:00

I make love to
Summer heat,
Oppressive
As the essence
Of your presence,
While I pray for rain
To wash you away,
To cleanse the filth
From brittle skin,
Licked by sin
And the tongue
Of my trilogy,
My legs spread wide
All too willingly,
For minister,
Grandfather,
God.

Ghost

2006-06-27T11:48:00.000-06:00

Today your ghost is loud
Clanking chains against the
Vault in my soul.

Past Life

2006-06-25T15:45:00.000-06:00

It seems another life now,
The humid days
And torrid nights
Of her.
And still she haunts,
Hiding inside,
While I wonder
And wander
Into red hair wisps
Of the past,
Where her laughter lingers
And her tears stain
My sunken soul
On a black broken
Daily basis.
Ten years doesn’t
Do much to diminish
My love,
Nor the potency of
Swamp Ophelia’s waters,
Wrapped warmly round
Each time I drown,
In wondering, wandering,
And praying in vain
That someday
I’ll hold her again.

Fog

2006-06-24T08:07:00.000-06:00

Gray fog kissing green
reminds me
of the man I never loved
and the land I've never seen.

Mark

2006-06-17T23:47:00.000-06:00

Dark haired
Supposedly free
Silently tortured
Just like me
Open hands offering
What you could never
Give
And what I could never
Receive.

V

2006-06-11T23:49:00.000-06:00

You still exist you know
Even if I don't.
And I still wear black lipstick
Even if it isn't all about you.
I don't dream of you anymore
At least not when I'm asleep
And I don't think of you anymore
At least not when I'm high
And I don't look for you anymore
At least not on Sundays.

Nothing

2006-05-20T19:36:00.000-06:00

Pink tipped
Lavender petaled
Rose
Beaten by bruising rain
Wilts in the sun's setting glow
While she stands
In periwinkle patterned
Lace lingerie
Perfumed and waiting
For absolutely fucking
Nothing.

Canvas

2006-05-05T10:51:00.000-06:00

You stand above me,
tugging my hair
to draw my lips
closer to your will.
And I lay
open like the sky,
awaiting its Masters
splashes of sunrise.
A canvas,
accepting and absorbing
every stroke,
gentle or not,
and seeking only
your design for me.

Yours

2006-04-09T16:22:00.000-06:00

I am on my knees,
Under your hand,
And beneath your gaze
That pierces through
Translucent skin,
Stinging from your
Commanding touch,
Sometimes tender,
Sometimes not,
But always born of love.

I am at your feet,
Waiting to worship,
Longing to serve,
Trembling for
The caress of your voice
That whispers words
Which swell my heart,
Assuring you are pleased
But reminding daily
Of my place,

And the fact that
I am yours.

Our Black Hole

2006-02-03T20:44:00.000-07:00

Today I want to feel you
In the places where we used to live
In the sky heavy with whispers
Where temptation and contemplation
Consumed us both
Until like a star too heavy
We fell in upon ourselves
Screaming with pain
And watching helplessly
As karmic rain
Poisoned the flowers
And flooded the world
While angels wept
God slept
And “us” dissolved
Into a Universe
Of memories and dreams
Where last time, this time,
Next time and now
Unite to fill
The places and spaces
Between our souls
And light the darkness
In an empty black hole
Where we dream and drift
And await the gift
Of again.

Carmen

2006-01-19T02:00:00.000-07:00

Carmen’s dead.
Buried in
Redwood tree
Thickets of green,
Pacific coast memories,
Where I sleep
In Eucalyptus skin,
Surrounded by
Blue back books
With broken bindings,
Empty canvases,
Crumpled pages,
And stages too steep
To dance upon.
While in the distance
Redwoods weep
As Carmen’s corpse
(Or is that me?)
Is silently dragged,
Along with dreams,
To the bottom
Of a bottomless sea.

Muted

2006-01-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

Lavender gray skies
Hang over rooftops
As barely budded trees
Sigh for winter
And snowflakes flitter
To aching earth
Where I sit
And wait
In pink parlor
Dreams
Dressed in emerald
Silk empress gowns
Weighing
The price of sin
And cradling
Muted snapshots
Of Errol Flynn.

Blue Blood Desire

2006-01-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

In secret pictures
You can hide,
Pitchy cotton clinging
To broad chest and thighs.
Travel up towering titan
To jaw and smile wide,
Careless hair
Tossed by the wind
On a long midnight ride,
Where starlight reflects
In Scorpio eyes.
In clandestine jungles
You reside
Where blue blood desire
Burns karmic fires
Till ribbon wound will
Melts remnant red
Encasing the space
In wax and lace
Where intention and fate
Collide.

Pirate

2006-01-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

We dance the pavane
In flooded dreams
Where shingles slide
Off slanted
Aquamarine
Rain streaked rooftops
Above the doorway
Through which you walked
To find
Silken robes in
Sailors knots
And now a bottle bobs
Upon the sea
Carrying an invitation
To my hazel eyed
Inspiration
Sail back to me
And I’ll show you
Victoria’s secret
As alluring as the night
Hauntingly flavored with
Hickory dickory
At the dock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
I watch the horizon
For your black monstrosity
Of a ship
And you, entrenched in
Stinging darkness
A rapier at your side
Poised to pierce
This paper thin
Scorpio soul
Dark as the depths
Of a shadowy sea
Where lilies float
Side by side
Drowned face down
Upon the ebbing tide.

Dan

2005-12-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

Kicking stones beneath our feet
we circled the track
round and back
mile after mile,
until of course
our keepers noticed
and pulled our respective files.
But still we found a way
to fill the lonely days
until at night we could unite
on brick back steps
under a summer moon
that faded far too soon.
I snuggled into your emptiness
it made me feel alive,
I adopted the role that you so needed,
to be your mystic guide,
But I, your scorpion starlight,
I, your broken savior,
was nothing more
than a simple fool
completely unaware
that while pulling the splinter
from your eye
I was ignoring the plank
in mine.

2/2005

Stripped

2005-12-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

You linger
in lavender scented
swings of my wrist,
handwriting round and insecure,
cool languid looks
over shell stripped shrimp,
and spicy red cocktail sauce
absentmindedly dripped and licked.

Lying here
listening to a newly wound clock
tick-tick-ticking
an incessant reminder of destiny,
while I with flint metallic voice
chase away dogs and distractions
ill aligned with evenings plan-
to entertain my inner whore
with you.

You,
with arms crossed in distant desire,
one moment,
and the next-in deep discreet divulgence
suede shouldered fingertip brush,
with shy smile and enthusiastic nod,
bringing both to this dark sanctuary
of sweat and arms,
caress and lace,

only to be awoken both abruptly
by reality's slap in the face.

something about him

2003-05-20T10:38:00.000-06:00

Something about the way he moves
reminds me of
soft, slow jazz,
a piano, a cymbal
and a sax
weaving a
passionate melody
that drips sensuality.

Something about the way he smells
reminds me of
a glass of fine merlot,
a Napa vineyard
and the musky scent
of a wine cellar
dark and filled
with mystery.

Something about the way he talks
reminds me of
opening night
on Broadway.
Where one is sure to find
dazzling entertainment
and certain fulfillment.

Something about the way he sings
reminds me of
the passion of Samson,
the love of Raoul,
But more than those,
Erik's inescapable lure,
his haunting song
my only cure.

Something about him
reminds me of
all that I can be,
all I long to hold,
the desire of
a thousand lovers,
and the purpose
of my soul.